The Democratic party is in desperate need of some good publicity, in part because of the recent stunt pulled by their state legislators in Texas, who fled to Oklahoma to thwart GOP plans to redraw congressional districts.

Employing a childlike “take-your-ball-and-go-home” strategy, the walkout by House Democrats prevented a quorum of 100, halting a time-sensitive vote on the redistricting plan, or any other business. Why vote on something when you can just run away?

That brings me – finally – to my topic: a continuation of my knee-jerk, non-professional analysis of the Democratic candidates for president of the United States. I don’t know if any of these would-be chief executives will bring some positive PR to the Democrats, but here they are:

– Carol Mosely-Braun: Strengths: She was the first black woman elected – representing Illinois – to the U.S. Senate. She is not afraid to say what’s on her mind. Weaknesses: Unfortunately, saying what’s on her mind has revealed she’s definitely not a threat to Einstein’s reputation.

– Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio): Strengths: The inevitable “Dennis the Menace” headlines will be moderately amusing. Weaknesses: He’s so liberal he makes the rest of the field seem conservative. Kucinich was the mayor of Cleveland when it went bankrupt in the late 1970s.

– Howard Dean: Strengths: He’s a former governor of Vermont, one of our least screwed up states. Weaknesses: He’s short, which isn’t something America looks for in a president. Also, he keeps using that lame line that he’s from “the Democratic wing of the Democratic party.”

– Rev. Al Sharpton: Strengths: Easily the most entertaining candidate, especially with that James Brown hairdo he’s got going. Rhymes well. Weaknesses: He’s an un-electable, race-baiting loudmouth with no credibility.

And finally, this person has promised not to run for the 2004 Democratic nomination, but what is a promise from a politician – especially this one – worth?

– Hillary Rodham Clinton: Strengths: Has gained valuable political experience as the junior senator from New York. She was the former co-president along with her husband, Bill, for eight years. Weaknesses: Her judgement has been questioned because of her decision not to divorce Bill after leaving the White House. Has the personality of a ticked-off Martha Stewart.

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author – who is not a registered Republican or Democrat – gets in his two cents worth, in spite of the old saying that you only get a penny for your thoughts.