We must stop everything until this gay marriage issue is settled! Okay, not really, but that’s what it seems like, with this contentious issue all over the media as of late. I think there’s room for a compromise that’s agreeable to everybody, if only both sides would quit yelling long enough to hear each other.

To the pro gay marriage side: The term “gay marriage” in and of itself is somewhat nonsensical, considering that in historical terms and by definition, marriage is an institution whereby a man and woman are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family. This is why I think the pro gay marriage side is making a mistake in calling this a civil rights issue, claiming they simply want the same rights as heterosexual couples. Guess what? They already have the exact same rights, namely to wed someone of the opposite sex. It’s more accurate to say they’re seeking some form of same-sex union. I also think it’s a strategic blunder to support activist judges who create rulings mandating gay marriage out of thin air and elected officials who issue marriage licenses to gay couples in apparent defiance of state laws, instead of letting this matter go through elected legislatures. Automatically labeling those opposed to gay marriage as homophobes or bigots is also counterproductive.

To the anti-gay marriage side: Those who cite Biblical prohibitions against homosexuality as their main reason for being against gay marriage should realize this argument doesn’t carry any weight in terms of public policy, because the government is secular and not everybody subscribes to that religious belief. Those on this side of the debate need to focus on what is essentially a changing of the definition of the word “marriage.” I happen to think they’re not doing a very good job of pointing out the federal and various state “defense of marriage” laws don’t ban gay marriage per se, instead merely defining marriage as between a man and a woman.

Possible solution: A civil union or domestic partnership law – whereby committed same -sex couples receive some form of spousal privileges analogous to marriage – seems to be the logical solution. Same-sex unions in whatever form will never be the norm as compared to marriage, but do offer committed homosexual couples an institution to call their own.

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author gets in his two cents worth in spite of the old saying that states you only get a penny for your thoughts.